Recipe: Banana Pudding Cake Roll

Have flame-thrower, will torch meringue...

I almost didn’t make this Banana Pudding Cake Roll. I was scared that the recipe would be too hard, I’d f*ck it up, and that my dessert for our first Blunts & Egg Rolls wouldn’t turn out. 

The theme of Blunts & Egg Rolls was a rolling party to gather our Black x Asian communities together to form new friendships, connections, and systems of support. It felt only appropriate that my dessert would match the event. 

I almost changed plans several times and wanted to make jars of banana pudding with crushed cookies instead, but that would be giving in to the annoying voice in my head that tells me, “I’m not good enough.” “You don’t have enough time.” “I can’t make a mistake.” 

Imposter syndrome: the condition of people feeling like “a fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities.

Roger Sterling, Tyler Rae, Christina Wong, and Wendy Zeng. Photo by Cherry Jane Studio

No one asked or expected me to make this cake roll. I wanted to express my love and support by baking something wildly beautiful and delicious – an edible work of art that is an interactive expression of the white systems of oppression that hold us all back and pit our communities against each other.   

“I just got a new culinary torch. Can I light it on fire?” Wendy asked with a grin on her face.

Wendy Zeng with culinary torch. Photo by Jordan Watson

The creamy white meringue sizzled and became engulfed in flames as Wendy turned the giant flamethrower towards my beautiful white and yellow swirled dessert. The result? The toasted meringue accentuated the swirly, spiky textures and decoration. And the smoky, toasted marshmallow flavor gave the creamy, fluffy, airy banana dessert the complexity it needed to take it from good to eye-rollingly great.   

I’m glad I didn’t give up before I even started trying. 

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Banana Pudding Cake Roll Recipe